Divorcing a narcissist amplifies the distress of dissolving a marriage. The narcissistic spouse may become enraged and use manipulation, lies, and aggression in response to every request or challenge. If you desire an amicable parting, a narcissist will almost always increase the hostility to create a high-conflict divorce.
The best way to keep a narcissist from disrupting your peace is to avoid contact with them. You have started the process of reclaiming your life by divorcing, but getting through the divorce requires self-discipline and courage. Our team can support and guide you through the process of divorcing a narcissist in Alpharetta.
You might be in favor of an amicable divorce, and your spouse might even agree with you—as long as they get everything they want. Narcissists cannot see other people’s points of view and often respond aggressively when challenged. Many narcissists feed on anger so you cannot expect a friendly divorce with a narcissist, despite your best intentions. Divorces where one spouse is determined to win or get revenge on the other spouse require a different mindset and skill set than divorces where both parties want a fair result despite their differences.
Understand before you begin that the divorce with a narcissist in Alpharetta is likely to take a long time and could get nasty. Confide your situation to a few trusted friends or family members who you can rely on for emotional support and practical favors like taking the children for a few hours when you need some time to regroup. If you do not already have a therapist, consider seeing someone to help you cope as the divorce proceeds. The more support you have, the more skillfully you can manage your divorce.
One of the common characteristics of narcissists is their willingness to lie to get an advantage. It is critically important for you to have proof of anything you allege in your divorce papers. You should also be prepared to respond if your spouse tells lies about you to family, friends, their lawyer, and even the court.
You know your spouse well, so consider the issues that are most likely to trigger them and how they might respond. Perhaps they will lie about their spending or try to hide income to reduce your alimony. Maybe they will claim you abuse your children or are a neglectful parent.
Start compiling paperwork and evidence like voicemails, texts, videos, and social media posts as soon as you begin considering divorce. Document interactions with your children’s teachers and coaches and the parents of your children’s friends. If you do not have much involvement in your family’s finances, do your best to get up to speed before the divorce proceedings start so that you and your Alpharetta high-conflict divorce attorney have a sense of what the financial disclosure forms should reveal.
Take the time to think carefully about what you want out of the divorce. Recognize that you may have to compromise about some things. Also think about what your spouse wants most, or whether their primary goal is to punish you. Once you have a set of goals in mind for your split from the narcissist, you and your Alpharetta attorney can devise a strategy to accomplish them.
Narcissists involved in conflict often use methods like demeaning or abusing their opponents. Although you may not think of yourself as your spouse’s adversary, assume that they will use any method at their disposal to manipulate you. It is wise to limit contact with a narcissistic spouse as much as possible while the divorce is proceeding to avoid being vulnerable to their tactics.
Insist that they communicate about the divorce through their attorney. If you share children and need to interact, limit the time and duration of phone calls and texts, and refuse to engage if your spouse does not respect your rules. Document every instance where your spouse ignored ground rules or tried to bully you into doing things their way, instead of the way you agreed to do them. Your evidence can help persuade a judge that your spouse is unreasonable or untrustworthy.
Narcissists do not play fair, especially when they feel embarrassed or rejected. Many narcissists respond aggressively when their spouse wants a divorce. Even when the narcissist initiates the divorce, they may need to prove you unworthy before they can walk away.
When you are divorcing a narcissist in Alpharetta, you need a lawyer who is comfortable handling a high-conflict divorce and can give you the support you need. Call today to discuss your situation with a skilled attorney.