Narcissists have to win. That’s why anyone who tells you about divorcing a narcissist, whether they be friends or in the legal field, they’re going to tell you, “Be prepared,” because narcissists don’t want to settle. They have to win, even to their own detriment. They’ll spend tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees just to beat you.
So, if you can give them something to make them feel like they’ve won (i.e., you go for the thing they want most and eventually let them have it so they feel like they’ve won or gotten something over you), you can resolve a divorce case with a narcissist. But you have to be very strategic in the decisions you make. Later on, when push comes to shove, we are able to exchange the narcissist’s currency for a better outcome for you, and that makes the narcissist feel extra special because they get to win.
For more insight on a narcissist’s psychology and how it can impact a divorce case, reach out to one of our diligent lawyers.
Narcissists in divorce love to drag cases out, typically. There is some type of supply they get from being in a high-conflict divorce, whether it’s the control they feel, the misery they’re inflicting on their spouse, or the pity they’re getting from friends and family who sympathize with them – they thrive on this as a whole. That’s what we see in almost every narcissistic divorce case.
We push the speed and the pace of the case as fast and as hard as we can, because we want to be the ones setting the pace instead of being so reactionary. The faster the case goes, the less time the narcissist has to make you squirm in your misery, so we make that part of our strategy.
All professional divorce attorneys would probably prefer for their client to not have to go to trial, because that means we are more in control of the outcome than if we were to leave it completely in the hands of a third party (i.e., the judge) that doesn’t ask you if you’re okay with the outcome at the end. A judge is going to come up with the conclusion that they find to be the most equitable in the situation, whereas we can try to reach an agreement before getting to that point.
So, even though we’re talking about preparing for trial, the ultimate, desired outcome is a reasonable settlement. But these cases require strategizing as if you’re going to trial to make the outcome of a reasonable settlement a lot more likely.
A narcissistic divorce requires a different strategy that has a trial preparation from the onset. As counterintuitive as it may sound, preparing for trial is actually what drives us closer to a settlement, as opposed to sitting back and saying, “Well, we hope to settle this, and we’re going to prepare for settling for this.” There is something about the formal process that snaps the narcissist a little bit more into shape and makes them unable to drive this train off the tracks.
We strive to give our clients the support they need to feel heard. Our attorneys take time out of their crazy trial and court schedules to give you the information you need to succeed. We are available to help you understand a narcissist’s psychology to get you through this difficult time. If there is anything else you want to discuss about divorcing a narcissist, reach out to our firm today so you can put the past behind you and start a really great second chapter in your life.
No matter how it feels right now, it will get better. We’re honored to help our clients move into that next chapter of their life and get their happily ever after. It’s what everyone deserves.