Narcissists make everything harder, including divorce. Their personalities require them to be in charge, and they lash out when things happen outside of their control.
Although you may hope for a smooth and amicable divorce, your narcissistic spouse is unlikely to be cooperative. It will be up to you to maintain a calm demeanor and protect your children from their drama.
Almost all divorces settle before the trial stage, but a narcissist has a very hard time with compromise. When you are divorcing a narcissist in Milton, you must work with an attorney who will stand up to the narcissist’s bullying tactics and can fight for your divorce goals in court, if necessary.
Chaos is likely to ensue when a narcissist receives your divorce filing. It is important to be prepared to withstand whatever power games they engage in.
For example, do your best to have a financial cushion when you file that will see you through a few months of expenses. Narcissists often use money to manipulate or control and may prevent you from accessing your bank accounts or withhold court-ordered support payments to punish you. Your Milton attorney will sort that out if it happens, but it will be easier on you if you have some money set aside and are not dependent on the narcissist’s cooperation.
Put a strong support system in place for yourself before you file for divorce. Let trusted family members know what you are planning and ask if you can rely on them for help if needed. If you do not have a therapist, look into finding one to help you devise strategies to counter the narcissist’s behavior. Consider what support your children are likely to need and identify resources that can help.
You need to walk away from your marriage with a fair share of the marital property and a parenting plan that will keep your children safe and thriving. Develop a clear idea of what those goals look like before you file for divorce and keep your focus on achieving them during the process.
Unfortunately, narcissists are ill-suited to calm give and take. They are more likely to be unreasonably demanding and use intimidation to get their way. In some cases, narcissists will reject solutions that favor them just because the suggestion came from someone else.
In most cases involving a narcissistic spouse, negotiations will take place between the attorneys. Work with a legal professional in Milton who takes the time to get a clear understanding of your goals for your split from your narcissistic ex. Then, step back and allow them to do their job. Trying to get the narcissist to see reason is usually futile, so save your energy for more productive tasks.
Divorcing a narcissist is an exercise in willpower. You must stand strong against their attempts to intimidate you. The narcissist knows you well and will use whatever tactics they believe will be most effective. That might involve angry confrontations, sincere sounding vows to change their behavior, or harassing conduct like texting at all hours, showing up without notice, or lying about you to mutual connections or on social media.
The only effective way to protect yourself is to set strong boundaries and enforce them. Let the narcissist know you will only communicate with them at specific times, and only via text or email or whatever method is most comfortable for you. You could refuse to communicate with the narcissist at all and direct all messages to your Milton divorce attorney. The important thing is to develop a set of rules that protect your physical and emotional safety, and then stick to them.
A divorce hits all a narcissist’s soft spots—failure, loss of control, and rejection. They are likely to act out in every way they can through the proceedings.
Working with an experienced divorce litigation attorney is key when divorcing a narcissist in Milton. Discuss your situation with a seasoned and aggressive lawyer. We will help you get through this. Call today.