When parents who once lived together start living apart, adjusting to the child custody arrangements can be challenging for everyone. Regardless of their personal feelings, parents owe it to their children to comply with the court’s custody order. However, when your co-parent makes a habit of noncompliance, it is critical to address the issue immediately. Allowing them to ignore the custody order is unfair to you and your children.
There are steps to take when your ex-spouse violates a custody order. As with most areas of life, an appropriate response is most effective. It is wise to consult an experienced family law attorney about any violations to determine the most effective response in your situation.
Keep Detailed Records
Documentation makes all the difference in post-divorce disputes, including when a co-parent violates a custody order. You can avoid a “he said, she said” situation by keeping detailed records of how the custody arrangement is working.
Judges approve custody agreements that they believe serve the children’s best interests, and this includes the schedule. You should document any deviation from the custody arrangements, including:
- Pickup or drop-off is early or late;
- Your co-parent is aggressive or hostile during exchanges;
- A cancellation happens last-minute, or you experience repeated cancellations;
- Children are not ready at pickup time;
- Your co-parent refuses to make children available for scheduled visits;
- Children report unauthorized third parties are present at visits;
- There is evidence that your co-parent is neglecting or abusing your children or exposing them to danger during visits;
- There is unauthorized activity, such as taking the children out of the jurisdiction without your permission.
Several apps are available to help parents document compliance with the parenting plan. Using an app can simplify communication and ensure both parents understand their obligations. To simplify the documentation process, choose an app that allows you to make notes.
Consider Legal Action When Violations Are Frequent
Life does not always unfold according to plan, and occasional noncompliance with the custody order is almost inevitable. Parents sometimes need to cancel or reschedule a visit because of an unanticipated event. Sometimes, a parent will be late due to external factors beyond their control. It is highly recommended that both parents have a conversation about the importance of adhering to the schedule for the sake of the children and to make minor adjustments to resolve the issue.
When a pattern of noncompliance develops, it is important to take action. Consulting a parenting coordinator or mediator can help you find a workable solution. Sometimes, however, the solution involves modifying the plan substantially, which requires family court approval. In other cases, you might have to go to court to seek an order enforcing the existing plan.
A family law attorney will review your documentation of noncompliance and advise you on the best way to proceed. Judges expect parents to work out minor issues without turning to the family court, so you should have evidence demonstrating that previous efforts were ineffective in preventing the custody order violation. In some situations, you can ask the judge to hold your co-parent in contempt and modify the parenting plan to reflect their unwillingness to adhere to the custody plan.
What To Do in an Emergency
Some situations require immediate action. For example, you might learn that your ex-spouse is drinking heavily or using illegal drugs while caring for your children or that they intend to take the children out of state without consulting you. When a situation arises that poses a threat of imminent harm to your children, you can seek an ex parte emergency custody order. Ex parte means that your co-parent does not need to be in court for you to get the order.
Always consult an experienced family law attorney when seeking an ex parte order. They can help you present your evidence and make your arguments to the judge. Remember that a judge will only make an emergency custody order if you have evidence that your children are at risk of imminent harm. Any ex parte order the court issues is temporary.
If the family court grants an emergency ex parte order, you must arrange to serve your co-parent. The court will then schedule a hearing to take place within a short time, typically two to three weeks, and both parents must attend. After hearing evidence from you and your co-parent, the judge may decide to make the emergency custody permanent, modify the original custody order, or reinstate the original order. The judge will base their decision on your children’s best interests.
Consult a Family Law Attorney About Custody Order Violations
Like most separated parents, you have invested considerable time and energy into creating a workable child custody plan. It can be infuriating when your co-parent does not comply with it.
When noncompliance becomes a pattern, your children can suffer. Reach out to our family law team to discuss the steps to take when your ex-spouse violates a custody order. Based on your situation, our team can advise you on the best way to proceed.
