The holidays can be a stressful time for any family, but when you’re married to a narcissist, that stress is often magnified. Narcissistic spouses commonly use emotional manipulation, criticism, gaslighting, and control to assert their dominance, making what should be a joyful season feel like walking on eggshells. If you are in an emotionally abusive marriage and have decided to wait until after the holidays to take steps toward divorce for the sake of your family and kids, that is okay. You’re not alone, and there are things you can do to help yourself get through the holidays with your narcissistic spouse and prepare yourself for what is to come.
Give Yourself Permission to Wait
Deciding to stay with your narcissistic spouse for the holidays doesn’t mean you are weak or that you are giving up on the idea of a healthier future. It simply means you’re choosing to prioritize stability during an important time for your children and family. A temporary pause can give you time to reflect, strategize, and mentally prepare for what’s to come. Trust that your decision is valid and that you are doing what you feel is right and best for your situation.
Prepare by Gaining Knowledge
One of the best ways to use this time is to educate yourself, especially about your finances. Narcissists often thrive on control, and financial dependence can be a significant leverage point. Start by:
- Gathering copies of financial records, including bank statements, tax returns, retirement accounts, and any debts
- Tracking household expenses to understand where the money is going
- Learning about any assets, liabilities, or accounts your spouse manages
Having a clear picture of your financial situation is empowering and will help you when it’s time to take the next step.
Build Your Mental Resilience
Dealing with a narcissist requires emotional fortitude. Practice grounding techniques, like mindfulness and journaling, to help manage stressful situations. Focus on staying calm and avoiding unnecessary conflicts as much as you can. Narcissists thrive on control, so limiting your emotional reactions can neutralize some of their power, not to mention keep the peace during the holiday season.
It can also be helpful to lean on trusted friends or a therapist for support. You don’t have to go through this alone, and sharing your thoughts with someone you trust and who understands you can lighten the load.
Subtle Planning Can Go a Long Way
Even if you’re waiting until after the holidays to take action to leave your narcissistic spouse, you can still lay the groundwork. Start thinking about your future goals and what your life could look like for you and your children after divorce.
You should also research reputable family law attorneys in your area. Having a consultation does not mean you have to file for divorce immediately. But it will clarify your options and help you feel more prepared when the time comes. Our team at the Atlanta Divorce Law Group understands the complexities of divorcing a narcissist and can guide you through the process.
Focus on the Present
This holiday season, prioritize moments of joy and connection with your family and loved ones. You deserve to celebrate, even in difficult circumstances. By staying grounded, gathering your resources, and focusing on the future, you’re taking the first steps toward a healthier, happier life.
Work With the Atlanta Divorce Law Group When You Are Ready to Leave Your Narcissistic Spouse
Contact us to schedule a consultation to get all your ducks in a row so you can be ready for divorce after the holidays. Or, if you do not feel emotionally ready yet for a consultation, here are more resources to help you gather information in the meantime:
Whether you are trying to keep the peace through the holiday season or you are ready to act now, when you are ready to take the next step, know that the Atlanta Divorce Law Group is here to support you every step of the way.
