The Role of Therapy in Recovering From a Narcissistic Divorce

person speaking with therapist
Oct 7, 2024 | Content

Being married to a narcissist is destructive to your sense of self. Divorcing a narcissist often amplifies their behavior and its impact on you. Add to that the stress and uncertainty that accompanies divorce, and it is obvious why you will need professional help to cope.

Understanding the role of therapy in recovering from a narcissistic divorce is critical. People who go it alone may fall into a spiral of self-loathing, depression, and even suicidal ideation. Working with a therapist can help you work through your feelings and learn how to recognize and counter narcissistic behavior.

Learn to Allocate Responsibility Fairly

People who get involved in intimate relationships with narcissists often have people-pleasing tendencies. They tend to take responsibility for things that are not their fault and tolerate poor treatment, thinking it is what they deserve.

These are powerful habits of thought that therapy can help you break. You can learn to take responsibility for tolerating intolerable behavior and understand how you might have asserted yourself more effectively. More importantly, through therapy, you can come to understand that what happened was not your fault.

By reviewing your experience with a compassionate therapist, you can come to see how petty many of the issues that enraged your spouse were. You can understand that their emotional outbursts were not because you did something wrong or were not a good spouse but because they knew they could use their outbursts to manipulate you. Eventually, you will understand that the aggression they project as a strength is a weakness.

Emotional Healing Is Critical

Working with a therapist allows you to process your experience in a safe and supportive environment. A therapist can give you language for your experience, which can be empowering. The process can help rebuild your self-esteem and hope for the future.

People involved in narcissistic relationships may lose contact with friends and family over the years. Isolation is a tool narcissists wield intentionally to keep you dependent on them. Building back your relationship skills with a trained counselor can help you resurrect estranged or dormant relationships and create new ones.

Children Will Need Help Too

Children suffer when a parent is a narcissist, even when the narcissist appears to be a good parent. Narcissists can be fun, charming, and engaging, and they can inspire devotion in children who mostly see that side of their personalities. However, a narcissistic parent will often use, manipulate, and betray their children, sometimes even trying to alienate the children from you.

Besides the direct impact of a relationship with a narcissistic parent, children learn terrible relationship skills from them. They will have observed the parent being abusive, gaslighting, and refusing to be wrong, apologize, or take responsibility for anything. Children of a narcissistic parent need help to learn critical life and relational skills.

There are many family counselors who specialize in treating the children of divorced parents, and some are particularly focused on helping children overcome the impact of narcissism in their homes. Finding the right fit for your children may take some time, and there may be several false starts, but your children deserve the effort.

Get Skilled Support From a Therapist When Divorcing a Narcissist

Although you may find it hard to spend the time, money, and energy, therapy with a skilled counselor is essential if you want to thrive after divorce.

The attorneys at the Atlanta Divorce Law Group are experienced with high-conflict divorces involving narcissists. Through their experiences, they have learned the critical role of therapy in recovering from a narcissistic divorce. The sooner you begin, the sooner you can regain your confidence and sense of joy, and the sooner you can begin creating the fulfilling future you deserve. Reach out to learn more.


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