Infidelity certainly isn’t a fun topic to discuss, but with over 30 percent of the married population admitting on the General Social Survey to cheating on their spouses, it’s a topic that warrants a little probing. Whether you’ve been cheated on, done the cheating, or know someone who has experienced either, you know the stress, anger, and insecurity that follows. While some relationships are able to work through the infidelity, strengthening their marriage in the process, others can’t survive the emotional and/or physical betrayal and end in divorce. But what happens afterward? After struggling through the pangs of infidelity, will you ever be able to trust someone new?
Here’s the short answer: Yes, you will, but not without some effort. If you feel you’re ready to start dating again or are struggling with insecurities in your new relationships, here’s some advice to keep in mind.
First, remember that you are not the only person who has been cheated on. Thousands of people have struggled through the same devastation and were able to find love again. Every act of infidelity is painful and often creates lasting emotional damage, so you have to find a way to start talking about emotional damage before dating someone new. Working with a therapist, counselor, or a close friend, or even finding online forums filled with other infidelity “survivors” is a good place to start.
Once you meet someone new, you can still expect to feel insecure at times. If those feelings rise up, you need to communicate them with your partner from a rational place. Let them know what you’re feeling and why and work together to brainstorm ways to work through it together. Furthermore, remember that your new partner is not your former spouse. Unless they have given you reason to feel skeptical, then it’s your past relationship causing the mistrust, not your current one.
It’s difficult not to feel cynical after being betrayed, but you can learn to trust someone new. If you need help with that process, don’t hesitate to reach out to us so we can connect you with one of our Concierge partners.