The traditional wisdom about divorce is that the woman gets the children and the house, and the man gets taken to the cleaners financially. Although this stereotype has not been accurate for decades, it persists.
When you are a man getting divorced, it is critical to understand that your rights are not based on gender. You have as much right to the family home and custody of the children as your soon-to-be-ex does.
Divorcing is more difficult for everyone—especially you—if you go into it angry, defensive, or aggressive. Some of the best advice for men getting a divorce is to put your ego aside, decide what your primary goals are, and let your attorney help you achieve them.
Put Your Kids First
When you have children, you must put their needs front and center. Some of the primary messages to convey to your children when their parents are divorcing include reassurance that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them. Additionally, a reliable routine helps kids adjust faster, so establish one and stick to it.
Badmouthing your spouse to the children or having violent or loud arguments in front of them not only causes emotional damage but any tendency to express your anger rather than put it aside temporarily for the children’s sake will be noted if a judge must make a custody decision. If you must vent, do so privately with your attorney.
Take a Break from Dates
Once you and your spouse decide your marriage is over, you might be eager to find a new relationship or date casually. That is understandable. However, you are legally married until you are divorced. If you get involved with someone before a divorce filing, your spouse could cite the fault-based grounds of adultery under the Official Code of Georgia Annotated §19-5-3.
Having a new person in your life is unlikely to affect property division if the relationship did not begin until after the divorce filing date. However, it could affect child custody, visitation, and alimony.
Your spouse might be less willing to allow you generous parenting time or shared custody if it means the children will have to adjust to a new person in your life. If the relationship was a factor in the marriage’s failure, it could also affect your ability to collect spousal support or result in you paying more spousal support.
Focus on the Bigger Picture
Whether you initiated the divorce or your spouse did, an amicable dissolution is easier on everyone, including your wallet. Amicable does not mean that you enjoy it or are full of goodwill toward your spouse. It means a willingness to engage in civil negotiations to resolve the divorce quickly, achieve a fair settlement out of court, and keep lawyers’ fees as low as possible.
The more you can work with your spouse, the more control you have over the outcome. Negotiating with each other through your attorneys or with a mediator ensures that your decisions regarding custody, alimony, and property division are workable for your family. Approaching negotiations with hostility increases the likelihood that the judge will decide these issues, and you may not like the result.
Call Our Firm for More Advice for Men Getting a Divorce
Some spouses reach an acceptable settlement on all relevant issues before filing for divorce. An uncontested divorce is much quicker and less expensive than a contested divorce. However, the judge must approve your agreements, so having an attorney review them before filing is essential.
In many circumstances, couples cannot agree on everything before they file. That means they have a contested divorce, which does not need to be bitter or drag on forever. An experienced Georgia divorce attorney can work with you to help you reach fair agreements and complete your divorce without a stressful and expensive trial. Schedule a consultation with the trusted team at the Atlanta Divorce Law Group to discuss more advice for men who are seeking a divorce.
