The Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating After Divorce

blond woman texting on her phone
Nov 26, 2018 | Sara Khaki

Re-entering the dating pool following a divorce is a unique process that embodies its own set of guidelines. You are not only tasked with determining what kind of partner is best for you right now, but you also have to evaluate yourself after this huge life transformation. You have inevitably changed since the day you first got married, so it is vital to approach the dating pool differently than you did before. Plus, depending on how long it’s been since you dated someone new, the dating world itself might have transformed as well. For example, in just the last year, the 10 most popular dating apps had over 40 million users.

If you are thinking about creating a profile on Bumble, Plenty of Fish, or Coffee Meets Bagel, here are the do’s and don’ts to consider in the process of online dating after divorce:

Do Research:

Be sure you are fully reading the profiles to get a good sense of each person before messaging them. Try not to base choices on looks alone because you likely have a certain “type” you’re drawn to, and that type may not equate to your best match. Dig beneath the surface and read into what a person writes or how they present themselves.

Don’t Pine:

Trying to analyze what the other person is thinking or feeling causes unneeded stress for you. Until he or she explicitly tells you how they feel, you won’t know anything for certain. So don’t create more internal suffering by worrying.

Do Detach:

Once you contact a person, just move on. You might hear back, or you might not. So just detach yourself from an outcome. This person’s response is not an indicator of your value or desirability, so don’t get stuck on one person if they don’t respond.

Don’t Assume:

You might be tempted to make suppositions about a person based on their profile, but don’t always assume that what you see is what you get. It’s best to reduce expectations until you meet someone — allowing yourself to get too excited over a profile can be problematic. Wait until you can talk to a person face-to-face before making a lasting judgment.


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