Jeanette

If you and your ex-partner are co-parenting, it can be difficult to figure out how to share the responsibilities. It is important not only for you but also for your children that you establish a healthy relationship with your ex. In this blog post, we will cover some dos and don’ts of successful co-parenting so that you can have a better experience in this process!

DO Tell the Children about the Breakup Together.

This can be difficult for parents, but telling the children together about the divorce or breakup can relieve some of the children’s stress. Telling the children together and answering their questions together shows them that you are still a team and are both there for them.

DO Try to Get on the Same Page with Basic Rules.

Having some consistency between homes helps the children transition smoothly.

DO Act Friendly to the Other Parent in Front of the Kids.

You don’t have to be good friends but do at least smile and say hello rather than standing with your arms crossed while looking annoyed. Faking the friendliness is perfectly ok!

DO Accept that Your Future Decisions for Many Years Will be Tied to Your Ex.

The reality after divorce is that we will be limited in where we can live and the types of jobs we can take because we must always consider how it will affect the other parent’s time.

DON’T Ever Say Anything Negative to the Kids about their Other Parent.

The children’s love for the other parent has not changed, so these negative comments are hurtful to the children. Don’t tell the children your perspective of why you divorced or what the other parent did wrong, don’t say negative things about the other parent, and don’t even have negative body language such as eye rolling that can be picked up by the children. Allow them to have their own positive relationship with the other parent that is not affected by the negative relationship you experienced.

DON’T Cry when Kids Leave, and Don’t Act Worried when Saying Goodbye.

Making the children worry about you or think they should not enjoy being with the other parent is harmful. No matter how you feel about it, put on a smile and encourage them to have a great time with their other parent.

DON’T Try to Find out Information about what Happens during the Other Parent’s Time.

This makes children uncomfortable. Enjoy your time with the kids, and let them enjoy their time with the other parent without having to report back to you.

DON’T Try to Control what Happens in the Other Parent’s Home.

We all have certain beliefs about the best ways to parent, and it can be exceptionally difficult when something we believe is very important is not followed at the other parent’s house. We simply have to let it go and allow the other parent to make their own decisions during their parenting time.

Following these dos and don’ts can help you have a successful co-parenting relationship and will also help your children thrive after divorce. If you find yourself struggling with co-parenting, never hesitate to use a co-parenting counselor to get on the right path!