5 Tips to Finding Peace in the Midst of Pain

girl on relax mood, with a hand on her chin and eyes closed
Oct 19, 2016 | Sara Khaki

1.) Accept Your Share of Responsibility, But No More:

You may have an amicable divorce, and if you do, we commend you and your former spouse.  But if you’re in the midst of a bitter divorce, your spouse is not likely to hold back any punches.  He or she knows you better than any one else and will pick on your insecurities.  It’s important to have a support system to talk to when you start to doubt yourself and your role in what happened.  Whatever the circumstances, this is an opportunity for you to learn how you can grow as a person and what you want for the future.

2.) Everyone Doesn’t Need To Know You Are Right:

You may very well be the righteous one in your divorce, but is pointing it out or arguing over it with your former spouse worth the bitterness, anger, and emotional turmoil that it will take on you and your kids?  There are some things that you absolutely have to fight for, but there are also many things that are just best to let go so you can bring some well deserved peace into your life.

3.) Accept That Not Everybody Will Be On Your Side:

You will learn who your true friends are during this process.  There are the people that matter; and there are also those friends who will side with your former spouse and act as though they never even knew you.  You have much bigger things going on in your life that deserve your attention.  So while it may sting and add to the pain of divorce, don’t spend your time and energy on people that don’t support you.

4.) Grieve Your Loss:

To truly find peace with what has happened in your life, you need to grieve the life and love you have lost.  Grieving means feeling all the emotions that come with it.  You don’t want to stay in that place; however, allow yourself time to sit in your grief or anger for a few moments and reflect on what triggered those emotions.  Feeling your emotions helps the healing process which will eventually bring you to a place of peace.

5.) Let Go Of The Past:

Once you’ve been able to properly grieve your loss, it’s time to let it go so that you can move forward.  Holding on to it is not going to change it or make anything better.  Until you let it go, you will never fully move on, and it will affect all your future relationships including your relationship with your children.  You can choose to live alone in the past, or you can choose to live in the here and now with people that love you.

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