Dealing with Smear Campaigns During and After Divorce

couple arguing
Feb 4, 2025 | Content

One of a narcissist’s tactics when they feel pressured or exposed is to badmouth others. When a narcissist is getting a divorce, the spouse may be the target of lies and unflattering comments directed toward their friends, family members, and even the couple’s children.

A skilled family law attorney experienced in high-conflict divorce can help you in dealing with smear campaigns during and after divorce. When necessary, they can guide you through legal steps to protect yourself and your children.

Don’t Engage

The most important thing to do when a spouse is engaging in a smear campaign may also be the hardest— don’t rise to the bait. There is no point in engaging with them, so save your energy for something constructive.

The narcissist will try to turn your friends and family against you, and they might succeed with some people. Learning who actually has your back can be painful but also very useful. Lean hard on those people who have shown that they’re trustworthy.

If you don’t already have a therapist, find one now. They can suggest strategies to help you deal with a narcissist’s badmouthing. An attorney who handles high-conflict divorces can likely refer you to a therapist who specializes in helping people through these ordeals.

Document Everything

When you hear that your spouse has said something negative about you, make a note of it. When possible, document the approximate date and who the audience was for the remark. Your divorce attorney can use this information to your advantage in the legal proceedings.

Many spouses take their smear campaigns to social media. If you are still connected to them on social media platforms, take screenshots every time they mention you. If you have blocked them or are no longer connected, enlist a trusted friend who is still connected to review their posts and save anything they post about you.

Parents with narcissistic tendencies often try to undermine the other parent. A divorce can aggravate this tendency, as the parent might be determined to start a custody battle— more to cause you pain than due to any desire to be the custodial parent. Document any instances of your spouse involving the children in your dispute or disparaging you to them in any manner.

Take Appropriate Legal Action

You can use your spouse’s smear campaign against them in your divorce proceedings. In many states, judges will consider a spouse’s behavior when making property division and alimony decisions. In every state, a judge will consider a parent’s behavior toward their co-parent when deciding custody.

Judges prioritize the well-being of children when making custody decisions. Judges expect parents to put their own feelings aside and cooperate to provide a stable, loving upbringing for their children. When one parent engages in a smear campaign against the other, it reveals their inability to put the children’s needs first.

If you are a business owner or a person in the public eye, you may have other legal remedies. If you can prove that your spouse’s false statements about you damaged your business or reputation, you may be entitled to financial damages. Speak with an experienced attorney if you believe you may have cause to sue your spouse for damages.

Consult a Divorce Attorney About Your Spouse’s Disparagement

Divorce is stressful in the best of circumstances. When your spouse is conducting a smear campaign, everything becomes much harder.

However, if you handle it with maturity, your spouse’s attempts to disparage you can backfire. Work with an experienced family law attorney for help dealing with smear campaigns during and after divorce.


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