Attorney’s Corner: What Does Happily Ever After Mean To You?

happily everafter start here sign
May 10, 2017 | Sara Khaki

Interviewer:  What does Happily Ever After Divorce mean to you? 

Attorney Jeanette Soltys: Happily Ever After Divorce is about approaching the divorce process with the goal of helping get the client to a better place after the divorce than when they first come to our office. Being in a bad marriage is emotionally taxing, and by the time a client gets to the point of dissolving the marriage, they likely have spent a significant amount of time and energy into trying to repair the marriage.  I know from personal experience that all of this fruitless effort leads to a place of exhaustion, frustration, and often anger. When a marriage reaches this point, and when personal happiness is almost nonexistent due to relationship conflict, then divorce is a good thing. While the process is emotional and difficult, once it’s over, the client can start fresh and obtain happiness that they likely haven’t felt in years. This is Happily Ever After Divorce.

Interviewer: Can you speak to a specific case where you felt you were able to achieve that for your client?

Attorney Jeanette Soltys:  I can think of hundreds of cases where this was achieved. Typically, by the time of divorce finalization, the client’s reaction is relief with a positive outlook on the future. We work hard to make sure that clients are taken care of and will be okay after the divorce. This often means referring them to a financial planner, therapist, and maybe even a career coach prior to finalization so they can start making a plan to create a more fulfilling life.

Interviewer: What are some steps a client has taken on his own to get his Happily Ever After Divorce? 

Attorney Jeanette Soltys: Clients who learn to let go of the past and instead spend time planning for the future have the best outcome. Holding on to anger from the past only poisons our ability to be happy and distracts from taking action to improve our lives. Working with a therapist from the beginning of the divorce process is often immensely helpful. 

 Interviewer: Let’s say you have potential client who has a very volatile situation and is dealing with a lot of emotional turmoil,  what would you tell them to help them see they can have their own Happily Ever After Divorce?  

Attorney Jeanette Soltys: The more volatile your relationship, the happier you will be after the divorce! These are the clients who need us the most. Life is too short to spend it in a relationship that causes extreme emotional distress. Go to a therapist and find the strength within to leave a terrible situation and find the happiness you deserve.

Interviewer: Lastly, what’s one tip you would give that client to help them persevere through the long road ahead?

Attorney Jeanette Soltys: Don’t get bogged down by the immediate situation and instead focus on the end game – finally being happy. Really spend time planning for your life after divorce. What would make you happy? Maybe you would like to downsize to a low maintenance condo in a trendier part of town. Maybe you want to  start focusing on yourself for a change and have a new commitment to health and fitness. Perhaps volunteer work makes you feel fulfilled, and you can get involved in a service organization.  Often when we are in a bad marriage, our entire focus is on that issue.  As a result, we aren’t giving any thought to what we need in our life for our own personal fulfillment. Spend a lot of time thinking about the life that you want to create and take action.

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