The “Flying Monkeys” Phenomenon: How Narcissists Use Others to Undermine You

Narcissistic Spouses

Sep 30, 2025 | Content

Divorcing a narcissist, or even mentioning the possibility to one, can be awful. They may use their favorite techniques to intimidate and disempower you so they can maintain control of the situation.

The “flying monkey” phenomenon explains how narcissists use others to undermine you. Our attorneys at Atlanta Divorce Law Group can coach and support you throughout your divorce from a narcissist and assist you in meeting your objectives.

What Is the Flying Monkeys’ Strategy?

Flying monkeys are people who the narcissist utilizes to harass, cajole, or guilt you into changing your plans. They are named after the creatures in the Wizard of Oz who did the Wicked Witch’s bidding.

Narcissists can be charming, but they are extremely manipulative. A person who is acting as their flying monkey might not recognize that they are being manipulated. They might honestly believe they are helping by trying to mediate an agreement.

However, flying monkeys can also be toxic. They can spread lies or gossip about you, gaslight you, and even try to turn your friends and family against you. All of this can leave you feeling unsupported and wondering whether you are the unreasonable one—that is the narcissist’s intent.

Responding to Flying Monkeys

Leaving a relationship with a narcissist requires determination and strong boundaries—you will need both to deal with the flying monkeys.

Their behavior may shake your determination and willingness to believe in yourself. Working with a therapist or social worker who is familiar with narcissistic abuse can provide much-needed support. They can also help you develop a strategy to defeat or neutralize the monkey’s tactics.

You should also engage an aggressive family law attorney who is comfortable handling high-conflict divorces. They can help you define your objectives and develop a strategy to meet them. In addition, they can assist you in documenting the narcissist’s attempts to undermine you or employ flying monkeys against you, both of which can be important evidence in divorce or child custody proceedings.

Contact Us To Learn How To Combat a Narcissist Who Is Trying to Demoralize You

When you are ending a relationship with a narcissist, you need support. The narcissist might use the flying monkeys strategy to undermine you. You may feel very alone after discovering who is loyal to the narcissist.

It is essential to surround yourself with people who will truly support you. That includes a capable mental health professional and a strong legal team. Contact us at Atlanta Divorce Law Group to discuss how we can guide you through your divorce from a narcissist.

Click Here for a Consultation

The “Flying Monkeys” Phenomenon: How Narcissists Use Others to Undermine You

What Is the Flying Monkeys’ Strategy?

Responding to Flying Monkeys

Contact Us To Learn How To Combat a Narcissist Who Is Trying to Demoralize You

Search

Categories