“The most important piece of advice we can give you is to remember that the hard times you’re going through now exist for a purpose, and that purpose is to achieve a better life.”
Perhaps the most famous saying this time of year is “April showers bring May flowers,” a sentiment which originated from the literal process of rainfall helping foliage grow. But its meaning over the years has included a more symbolic interpretation referring to the rewards that can come from life’s many struggles. Everyone has their fair share of rainy days, but most would attest that the saying is true — goodness can certainly blossom from pain.
If you’re navigating the abundant changes associated with a recent divorce, you might be struggling to see the sunshine at the end of the tunnel. But the most important piece of advice we can give you is to remember that the hard times you’re going through now exist for a purpose, and that purpose is to achieve a better life. Whether that means you’re getting away from a toxic relationship, creating a more comfortable and inviting living situation for your children, or getting the job you always dreamed of, the immense pain you feel right now is temporary. Eventually, it will go away.
While it may not feel that way, there is a worse type of pain: the kind with no purpose. It’s the pain that occurs when people keep themselves stuck in the same bad situation, weighed down by the discontent of an unhealthy relationship. If you continue living in a contentious marriage with the same meaningless approach every day, it can only yield the same unsatisfying results. Constantly receiving the same results — or no results at all — will drastically affect your ability to feel happy.
While we understand that it’s scary to consider these things, once you make a decision regarding how you want to live your life, you see different results. Of course, actually taking steps to get there can be challenging. You have to look at financials in a new light and discuss parenting plans in ways you’ve never had to think about them before. You’ll have to approach life as an individual rather than as a couple, which changes everything. But the struggle and stress associated with these rains have a purpose — the flowers that come in May.
Still, even if you know that the flowers will eventually grow, sometimes you need to be reminded there’s hope. That’s why, at Atlanta Divorce Law Group, our team makes sure we sit down with each of our clients to go over their biggest life priorities, starting with what they’d like to be able to reach within the next year, then making plans for the next 5–10 years. If your dream is to able regain financial security, rebuild your career, or protect your time with your child, we keep this vision in mind so that when the days get really rainy, we can remind our clients of their dreams.
We also check in periodically to make sure your priorities haven’t shifted. The most effective way to hold on to hope is to be honest with ourselves, which means that we have to admit or discuss the moments when an initial vision changes. For example, you may be a parent who starts your divorce process by believing that your biggest goal is to obtain 50/50 parenting, but six months later, you’ve decided that you’d rather be able to spend a couple of whole months with your child in the summertime. That all comes with being honest with yourself throughout the process.
In addition to maintaining focus on your vision, you also need to take the time to commend yourself for all the transitions and growth you’ve endured. Rather than constantly thinking about all that you have yet to achieve, honor yourself for the steps you’ve made. Remember, there once was a time when you thought you couldn’t spend a day on your own, and regardless of where you are on your own journey, you’ve made huge steps forward.
Keep your vision in mind and congratulate yourself on the progress you’ve made. And if you need any help or encouragement, you know who to call.